Today my colleague brought me to a girls' home near my place to introduce me to some of the girls there as we would both be volunteering there for the next 2-3mths. Most of these girls were referred to the home from MCDS or the juvenile court and age ranged from 11 to 18. When we were there, only some of the girls were around as some are sleeping or have left on a weekend home leave. Most are still on probation. I felt a little apprehensive as i have never interact with such youths before and i worried about how they would perceive me. I think it is only natural that they would be a little wary and defensive in the beginning, and it would not be easy to break the ice. Afterall, if i were them, i would hate me too, this older person who is coming to change me, who talks english and does not swear in hokkien, who's eagerness to help more often than not, grates on my nerves. From the profiles of the girls that my colleague shared, it is of little wonder why they would feel this way. Most came from abusive and broken homes, some had abortions or are unwed mothers, others were neglected at home and everyone suffers from a degree in the lack of self confidence. Their school work are far behind others and some are not even integrated back to school yet. Sometimes i wonder how can i help them when i have no idea of what they have gone through. One of the girls i played scrabbles with had bruises around her eye and face, and seemed so unsure about how to spell and how to get it right, yet i could tell that she had made effort to look nice, with her nicely manicured fingers and the little accessories around her hand which she played with repetitively. Just sitting beside me is another young girl that could not stop talking in a loud voice, alternating her monologue with latest Jay Chou songs and vulgarities. She was to go back home at 7.30pm and seemed so excited. By 8pm, she looked subdued and the room became really quiet. Yet another girl suddenly came next to me to ask softly if we were going to spent the night there. She must be no more than 13 and confided softly that she had a splinter in her right foot for several days now and couldn't get it out. What am i expected to do for these kids?

Later my colleague asked why did i want to volunteer and i said that "I do not want to change the world, i only hope to make a difference." And i think, that is what i honestly believe.